The Thaw Review

This lackluster eco-horror is available now on the LoveFilm UK streaming service. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before on “The X-Files,” and, surprisingly, this theatrically released movie comes over more like a made-for-TV film.

The premise is a simple one: scientists in the Arctic (extreme northern Canada) discover the remains of a woolly mammoth in the receding ice, hence the title of the film. But really, didn’t the practice of starting a horror title with the word ‘the’ get old in the 70s?

The mammoth is not all, as a particularly nasty brood of parasites is inhabiting the beast, and these are the ‘monsters’ in this movie. “Spoiler alert!” you might cry, and it did cross my mind until I remembered that these insect-like skin burrowers are revealed in a very unnecessary found-footage prologue in the first few minutes.  Totally rubbish!

(Now that I think about it, William B Davis, the smoking man from the X-Files, also makes an appearance in this prologue. Coincidence..?)

Val Kilmer plays the chief scientist/father in an ‘also starring’ role (which always makes me think they didn’t have quite enough money to write him in for the whole film). He is uncharacteristically wooden, so don’t see this if you are a fan.

As usual, a bevy of youngsters enter the fray as cannon-fodder. A strange mix of running away from tiny insects, disgusting bodily functions and chopping off limbs ensues. The gore fans amongst you will not be disappointed.

One of the actors is notable.  Aaron Ashmore plays the bizarrely named “Atom Galen,” one of the aforementioned students called up to help count polar bears. You might think he’s the guy who played Iceman in The X-Men film, but that was his identical twin brother.  I kid you not!

This is the Ashmore you may have seen recently as “Jinks” in Warehouse 13.  Anyway, he’s good in this.

The parasites themselves are of course CGIed. However, this is really not done very well. We are nowhere near the uncanny valley as these pixel-polished earwigs swarm over everything. It almost works, but you are constantly thrown out of the moment. Plus, they seem to squeakily scream when they die.  It just doesn’t work.

So, OK acting, mediocre plot, excellent gore, but disappointing CGI.

Watchable, but go defrost the freezer instead.